The Art of Marriage

What a powerful and moving weekend, so far! Last night my wife and I had made plans to attend "The Art of Marriage" video conference being held at our church and hosted by Warren & Mary Bistline (Big thanks to them, and for their prayers this week).

Looking back over the past week there have been many spiritual attacks that could have made me just say "I'm not going to make it to this conference." It could have been so easy to just stay home an recuperate.

I had a few days of dizzy spells, followed by nausea, and then horrible headaches in the top of my neck/bottom of my head! Yesterday, they finally let up, but today before the conference was over THEY WERE BACK!!

Other attacks! Diana and I had both had a couple of long and grinding days leading up to this weekend, and both had kind of short fuses due to being stressed out! Her by work, me by work and not feeling well. Needless to say, we had a couple of not too pleasant arguments over some of the dumbest things imaginable. (She did forgive me for it by the end of the session on Saturday!)

I am so glad that we attended this conference. I am glad that we persevered and was able to attend.

I was also impressed with the fact that Mike and Carol were able to stay and the commitment they showed not only to their marriage and each other, but to God by sticking it out through the conference with all they were dealing with. They were a true inspiration! God will continue to bless them, and will use them in great ways.

This last two days has already helped our marriage out in several ways. Here are a few ways!

1. Diana and I have in the past said a lot of mean and hurtful things to each other (what married couple hasn't). That finally has closure! We both asked each other for forgiveness for the first time ever, and when it happened it was like a HUUUUUUUGE weight was lifted off of my heart! A much needed relinquishment of burdens that had been held onto for far too long.

2. I had never looked at our marriage as anything but for Diana and I. Never had I even thought of how it really affects my children, grandchildren (don't have any yet, thank God!), great grandchildren, and future generations on down the road! At the end of the conference it talked a lot about leaving a legacy! I want that for my kids! I want them to see Diana and I as an example of how their marriage is supposed to be! My parents were together for 19 years before my Dad died, and I want my marriage with Diana to go above and beyond what theirs was. They fought over the same things Diana and I do now, I want to end that with my legacy!

3. I never had looked at sex, as being a way to show God my Oneness with my wife! I always looked at it as a way of us pleasing each other, not as a way of pleasing God too! I thought that was an awesome example. These are things that I have never in my life even heard of!

4. RESOLVING CONFLICT! I learned a lot about how Diana and I would both like to be able to resolve conflict now, and in the future! That is probably the single most important thing that had to change out of this weekend. Both of us grew up in different family backgrounds and both of did not really have the greatest examples in our life on how to resolve conflict, so some of these exercises will really end up being very valuable to our marriage and to our family!

5. Realizing our Roles. Diana and I have heard Ephesians 5 many, many times! It has seemed like a broken record! I remember the first time we heard it together, she was like submit....HA!! I was like, I do love her like Christ loves the Church. Little did we know that we were far from it! This weekend, during our get away sessions we used some of our time to discuss this verse, and how it reflected upon us, and what would happen if we both did more to "step up" into these roles! Me as the leader (which quite frankly, I have been slacking in) and her as the "helper". I think this conversation has made us both see, that 1 we are willing to do what it is that is God's intentional will for us, and 2 that we care enough about each other that we are willing to to exactly what it takes to be committed to each other, and to God at the same time!

Most of all, above everything else I want to thank Jesus Christ for sacrificing himself on the cross for my sins. Without His grace none of this would have been possible! He truly is worthy of all our love! I can not love my wife without Him, because without Him there is no such thing as love! God is love!

This conference, and Elevation Church have been such a Godsend to us, to our family, to this community! It has truly been an abundant blessing from God. We couldn't be happier with how things are moving along, and we are continually looking forward to what new and exciting things that God will be doing in and through this church and community!

I would encourage you that no matter how strong your marriage is or isn't.... this conference will help you in many areas and I highly recommend it!

Thanks again, Warren and Mary!!