My father, and My Father

Tomorrow, May 11th, would have been my Dad's 60th birthday. Sadly he died 12/07/1991 at the very young age of 40.

I have so many awesome memories of my Dad. I will take a few minutes to name a few.

1. No matter where, when, who, what, or why. My Dad could put a smile on anybodys face. (As seen in the picture to the left)

2. I remember one time, it was snowing really bad outside, and my Dad had two brown paper bags FULL of groceries, and my cousin Randy threw a snowball at him and it hit him right smack dab in the middle of his big belly and in the middle of the front yard his pants fell down around his ankles! LOL

3. When I was 12 we went to Disney on vacation. He was scared to ride Space Mountain, and so was I. Neither of us like heights. Although, now I love roller coasters.

4. I remember going to Taco Bell on time by the Dayton Mall with Mike Simmons, my friend Larry, and my Dad. It was the absolute WORST food EVER!!!! Mike and I still to this day refer to that place as the kitty litter Taco Bell.

5. This is my favorite. I got my driving permit on his birthday in 1990. We lived like 4 blocks from the High School. He let me drive to the High School. I turned into the school parking lot nearly missing a tree, he told me to put it in park, and get out. His next words "your mother is going to teach you how to drive". LOL

So many great memories. If I wanted to list them all I would be here for awhile.

Most of all I miss getting to spend time with him!

That brings me to the reason I am writing this blog tonight. Yea part of it was to commemorate my Dad, but it is also to express how important it is to spend time with my heavenly Father.

My Dad died when I was 17 years old. I was in the middle of my Senior year at Wilmington High School, and it totally devastated me. At first I was just in shock. I mean, I am not even sure it really sank in for a couple of months. Then after a few months went by, I started rebelling in a BIG WAY!!! I was rebellious to my Mother, my Youth Pastor, Elders in my church and worst of all to God!!

After he died I started down a path that was just a downward spiral for me for many, many years! I did some pretty awful things, things I am still not proud of to this day! I totally blamed God for everything! By everything, I mean things like, my Dad's death, the crud I was into in my life, the way people were treating me, pretty much everything that you could think of. If it was in my life and it wasn't what I thought it was supposed to be I BLAMED GOD!

Here is the thing not everyone knows about God. Even if you are blaming Him, even if you are rejecting him 1000 times over, even if you HATE His guts. He is by your side, He loves you, He accepts you...... JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!

For 10+ years that was my attitude towards God. One day He grabbed me by my heart and said "Listen, you have tried this on your own for a very long time, and look where you are. How about letting me lead you from now on" (paraphrasing), but that is basically what it felt like!

So for 10+ years I was upset that I didn't have a father, but I did have a Father. Funny thing is and I honestly hadn't even seen this until a few weeks ago. God protected me every single day EVEN when I wasn't worshipping Him, reading my Bible, or even attempting to confess Him. He had His protective hands all around me.

After knowing all that I know now about how God has been there for me, it makes me wish I could turn back time and be there for Him more. In serving, worshipping, witnessing, loving, and many many other ways.

God is so good!! So as I celebrate my Dad's 20th year with God, and remember his birthday today! I am also celebrating my time I get to spend serving my Father, loving my Father, and worshipping my Father!

I hope this blog blesses you as much as it blessed me by writing it. Sometime writing these is more of a release of emotion, and love than it is anything else!

God Bless, and thank you for your support!